Dementia Blooms

A Birthday Call To My Mom

Stefani Vader
3 min readNov 2, 2023
Photo by Angèle Kamp on Unsplash

Today is my mom’s birthday. Every year, my dad would go all out and plan something super special to celebrate it. This year, I’m not exactly sure what they are doing.

I called her tonight. She no longer has a phone, so you have to call the person she is with at the time. First I called my dad. She was heading to a restaurant with my sister, and they were going to meet up with them there. So, I called my sister.

Every other year, I’d call and ask her questions and have her tell me all about how wonderful her day was. This year that wasn’t the case.

She couldn’t tell me where they were eating, or what kind of food the restaurant had. All she knew was that it was a place where you had to get dressed up for.

I asked her who she was celebrating with, and all she knew was that she’s with a bunch of people.

I asked her if she was going to order a slice of chocolate cake after dinner (it’s her favorite dessert), and she wasn’t sure if she would like it or not.

It breaks my heart.

I’m losing her, and it’s happening fast.

The last time I saw her was in July. Even though it has only been a few months, the decline is huge. I struggled not to cry while I was on the phone with her…



Stefani Vader

Lover of reading and writing. Hater of retail work. Small fish in a big pond, learning as I go.