Fighting Off Depression
I can feel myself sinking deeper and deeper. All the thoughts racing through my mind are negative. I want to book myself a one-way ticket to somewhere else and start fresh.
But, that’s not an option.
The reality is I have to face reality. My life sucks right now. That’s the reality. I have nearly zero time to myself, I work in a job I hate, all my dreams and goals have been put on hold. On top of that, my 800sf house is now home to five adults, a toddler, two dogs and a cat. We are constantly in each other’s way. There is no sense of privacy. There is no personal space. There is no quiet time.
Add to that I am raising my grandchild which I shouldn’t have to. I’m paying for everyone to eat, which I shouldn’t have to. I’m cleaning up after everyone, and I shouldn’t have to.
I’m exhausted; physically, mentally, and emotionally.
I think of all the things I want to do and the goals I want to hit, and the reality is that I can’t. It’s not because I don’t want to, the desire burns inside of me. It’s because the lack of sleep, the lack of space, the lack of support keeps me where I am.
I know nothing is going to change if I sit here and stew in this turmoil. I know deep down that unless I make some changes and accept my reality I’m not going to be able to dig myself out.