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Insomnia!
I think I’m losing my mind!
Insomnia sucks.
I’m exhausted. My legs are rubbery, ready to give out at any time. I want to just collapse to the ground and cry. Yet, that takes energy that I do not have.
People at work speak to me. I watch as their mouth moves and they make hand gestures. I hear noise, yet my brain doesn’t comprehend the words that are coming out of their mouth. After a minute, I have to ask them to repeat themselves.
I drive to work on autopilot. Sometimes I get there and don’t even remember the actual drive. It’s as though my body knows how tired I am and runs on autopilot.
What’s frustrating is that I walk in a haze throughout the day, not able to focus on any one thing, but the moment I lay down and close my eyes, my brain picks different topics to focus on and not stop.
“Take some sleep medication.”
There’s two problems with that. I’ve taken some P.M. medicine before and it has the reverse affects on me and I’m wired all night long. The second problem with that is that I do not believe in putting medication into my body on a daily basis. I’ve heard horror stories about people who become reliant on sleep medication and I’m not going to do that to myself.