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Staying Strong is Killing Me
Words evade me when it comes to trying to describe what it is I’m feeling. I’ve thought about trying to convey this for a month now, but the words wouldn’t come through the tears.
Throughout my life, I have been the type of person who people turn to when they need someone. Whether they need to vent, need to cry, need a helping hand, need encouragement. I’m not complaining, and it has been my pleasure to be able to be there for those who have needed me.
The problem became though that everyone in my life began to view me as an emotional robot. I’m not the one to throw fits, I don’t get hurt, I don’t NEED others to be there for me.
I am strong.
Being strong though is seriously tearing me apart from the inside out.
The past two months I’ve been through a roller coaster of emotions. I’ve hit some really dark places where I struggle to suck air into my lungs. There are times that I’ve gone through days of not sleeping, not being able to turn off the worry and anxiety.
I think the image that comes to mind as to how I’m feeling is Atlas on bended knee, struggling to carry the world on his shoulder.
The hard part is, I have to remain strong. Strong for my husband, strong for my son at home. I need to be strong to encourage and motivate my son who is…