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Watching a Friend In a Toxic Relationship
The phone rings at ten-thirty. I pause the T.V. and turn my head on my pillow, already knowing whose name is going to be lit up on the screen. My phone doesn’t ring after ten unless there’s an emergency, and lately it’s been happening every night.
It’s my job as a friend to be there. I sit in silence as she screams and sobs and I let her vent. The fighting is on a daily basis by this point. I’ve told her over and over again that no matter what she does, I’ve got her back. In moments throughout the day, I’ve caught her in a calm state where we can speak rationally and come up with solutions.
The problem is, I’ve never been in an abusive relationship. I’ve never dealt with someone who makes me feel unloved and worthless. I think part of that is because I have always made it very clear that I would never put up with it.
I want to shake some sense into her. I want to pack her up and bring her home with me. No one deserves to live a life giving up their dreams, walking on egg shells and crying themselves to sleep every night.
I want to understand, but I don’t.
I get that she loves him and doesn’t want to give up on her fifteen-year long relationship. That’s completely understandable.
Except it’s not.